Saturday, March 29, 2014

The Genesis of DeeDee & Irma!

Behold our story, in all it's glory...bitches!

Monday, July 9, 2012

You should be aware of this upcoming awesomeness:



Saturday at Midnight for the 2012 WCBF!  To spend the best $30 of your life, visit:
or get stabbed in the face.
That is all.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Tips for beating the summer heat


Sweet baby Jesus in the cradle it's hot!

So hot, Irms and I decided to forgo our usual summer moumou attire and opt instead for sweet, sweet unconsciousness.  Summer hibernation, if you will.  And we will.

To accomplish this Herculean feat to beat the heat, we went with the old self-induced gin coma.
In case anyone is curious how to DYI such a glorious state of oblivion, the ingredients are as follows:

  --1 parts Black Cherry Kool-Aid
  --2 parts sugar
  --10 parts gin

You may wake up with your mouth feeling (and tasting) like the festering contents of an un-emptied potty chair.  You may feel like every cell and pore of your body as tight as a butt hole and as crusty as a rabbit turd.  You may only be revived to consciousness by the sensation of your cat licking your fingers just for the extra salt intake.

This is merely the price one must pay to truly stay cool and keep it real when faced with extreme weather.

And to all you suckas out there who think they can just get by with a box fan and one of those battery-operated, hand-held water-squirting fans, I say to you:  does that fan squirt gin???
I didn't think so.  Case closed.  DeeDee Madison, Esq. OUT!

This might be you.  Pray your cat hasn't just licked their own anus.

Oh, YES, Mr. Gin Kool-Aid man!

When you regain consciousness, remember to rehydrate:  two parts gin to one parts juice.  Don't be this guy.  He forgot the juice.

The dude abides.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A Lick of Sense, by Amelia

When asked about personal grooming,
A wise person once said:

"Shoot for the butthole;
Even if you miss, you'll land among the fuzzy nipples."

However, this wise person lacked longevity, as he soon thereafter died horribly from deep face lacerations of unknown origin.

Let that be a lesson to anyone who thinks fuzzy kitty nips are "cute, "adorable," and "fun to play with."

That is all.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Just When You Thought Your Anus Was Safe...

Things have been quiet around here.
Too quiet.

Well guess what, non-believers?
Guess what you ass-knobs who say, "goodness, they're back!"
This is what I have to say to you:

DeeDee & Irma never WENT AWAY!

When you find things getting a little too quiet on our front, that's when you gotta worry the most! Because, like the quiet before the storm, this long silence is only a harbinger of fabulous, glittery, gin-soaked brilliance never before seen by human eyes!

Lady Gaga, hold on to your wigs; Rhianna, start bejeweling the fuck out of those spandex;'re okay, I like you're false eyelashes.

Get. Ready.
That's all I'm gonna say.

Oh, except for this:
When one "Googles" "DeeDee and Irma" (and don't pretend like you're above doin' it), here are some of the things that come up under "Images" (I guess I should be thankful that the first photo is, indeed, a legit pic of us):

This is us, doing what we do: putting on a hell of a show, entertaining the masses, and doin' it in sexy-cool style.

This is not Irma.
And I do not care to find her, thank you very much.

This is definitely not Irma. Or DeeDee.

These look delicious, but in no way represent the firm of Madison Esq.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Like a Fat Kid Loves Cake

Oh friends, what a long and crazy road it has been!

As Irmsies said before, we have been busy little bees in the past year, spreading our vitriol and tangy gangsta love all over the US of A. There have been other changes: Irma and I are no longer in the same city. Yes, it is true--a distance of approximately 200 sucky miles now separates the Deedster from her bestie. I am currently holed away in Wisconsin. What for, you may ask? Well, reader, choose the option that best tickles your fancy: A. rehab B. returning to school C. various black market endeavors. I miss my little Irma so badly it makes me pee my pants a little sometimes. Or perhaps I am just becoming incontinent. Either way, I am saddened.

Rest assured, my chickadees, that the bond DeeDee and Irma share cannot be broken by mere distance! We shall continue to perform and perform FABULOUSLY! And for you doubters out there: I extend to you an invitation to go fuck yourself.

Thank you, and good night!
DeeDee Madison, esq.

Were there ever two foxier ladies? Sources say no, beeyotch!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Cats and Glitter

To all of our friends, lovers, haters, enemies, families, fans and anyone else who keeps it real and is cool enough to mix booze with children's cold syrups:

It is indeed true that over a year has passed since DeeDee & I have graced you all with our musings (or "blogging" as you kids call it these days). This typically just translates to DeeDee and I sharing the more mundane and possibly graphic details of our daily lives (i.e. back exfoliation, latest prison hooch recipes, Irma's current wedding and/or separation plans husband, et. al.).

I apologize profusely for this inexcusable absence. A good deal of this time spent in comunicado with you dear readers was spent unconscious and sans pants...but I digress. The point here is that there will be plenty of time to tell you all about that because Dee and 'ole Irms are back and exploding with glitter and excitement over past and future schemes to take over the world, one glass of gin at a time...

DeeDee and Irma backstage at the Jim Thorpe Burlesque Festival, ready to perform to Clay Aiken's timeless classic love song, "Invisible."

I should mention our most recent triumphs:

Venturing to Jim Thorpe, PA for their first-annual Burlesque Festival!
Here's what I love about Jim Thorpe, PA:
--The people, especially cute older ladies running cute little shops, were so adorable I wanted to pinch all of their wrinkly little cheeks!
--A local wine shop where the proprietor was kind enough (nay, even encouraged us) to let us sample every type of wine (even more than once, just to make sure it was just what we were looking for, you understand) before our final purchases...which were plentiful.
--How much Jim Thorpe, PA loves glitter and boobs. Who knew?

Chicago's First Annual Windy City Burlesque Fest!
--I loved this because it was in my own damn back yard and performers from around the country, Canada, and even the UK packed up and made the trip to party with us, Chicago-style. Very proud of all the Chicago burlesquers and lovely to see some familiar faces from other festivals as well.

DeeDee and Irma performing "Gangsta Gangsta" at the Windy City Burlesque Festival.

Ok, wieners. It's past Irma's bedtime and mama has to rise and shine early in the AM to make some kibble $$$ to feed her pussy cats. I've got two mouths to feed now, you know.

Smell ya later,Irms

My babies, Lady Amelia Bumstead-Winterbottom and Ms. Polly Pickles. They love each other.